Im a 46 year old single mother. I have a 13 year old daughter. We live together in a small townhouse apartment. I am disabled. But my disability isnt enough to cover all my bills. I started working part time about 2 hours a day, but when social security/disability found out they reduced my check. Which put me even further back than square one. I tried to get ahead but ended up just being worse off. My daughter is very smart and is in Honors classes, but i see the heart ache in her eyes. She always tells me that we should give up and move under a bridge. Her sarcasim isnt always amusing. She tells me it isnt fair that she has a sick, weak mom who cant provide for her. And since she goes to a Recognized school district most of the other kids parents are weathly and her's arent. I've had lupus all my life, even as a kid, but it didnt attack my body until my daughter was born. So after she was born i couldnt my job as a correctional officer anymore to support us. Her father had a good job as a Refinery Engineer but a month after she was born he went to prison. And i soon found myself having to sell both BMW's he brought me before he went in. Since he went to prison not long after our daughter was born, she does not know him well and does not want to know him. Since i am so sickly and cannot support us, she has this wonder-woman attitude. She always tells me how she is not going to be like me. She is going to work her whole life until she feels like retiring. And then she will have everything that i could not give her. It makes me sad sometimes to hear the things she says. She says she wishes she wasnt born, and that she wishes she could kill herself. If i dont pull my life together i fear she will give up on life. And end up a hobo on the streets. I just wish all this pain and sickness could go away, but it wont, and i have to live my life like it is and stay here for her no matter how depressed i am.
